I have a few suggestions for you which I hope you will find helpful. Remember, you are not required to take any particular action based on my comments. Whether you do depends on you and your Gen www.Y teacher.

First, I love your title. It really gives the basic idea of your project without leaving out the type of technology involved.

Your objectives are great, but one little thing you could change to make them stronger is to use a different verb than "learn". Learn is a weaker verb. What will the students actually be able to DO when your project is complete? Will they "Know", more about Graham County history? Will they be able to "Tell" others about Graham County history? These sorts of verbs just make your statement that much stronger.

Your own objectives are great, but you could also simplify them to saying you will be able to create a high quality informative Avid Cinema presentation.

You say your teacher will be able to use a number of "projects" on the computer. What do you mean by this? Can you clarify?

Your materials list is very well done. Will you also include under "Other" the pictures that the students will be collecting? Will there be any other sorts of materials, resource or otherwise that you will use for your presentation?

Your procedures really stand out as high quality. I appreciate the detail that you included. Can you include the types of special effects you will use? Will there be only pictures and no sound? Will there be any narration or some"information" included? The reason I ask, is that you don't mention this. You only mention the pictures and video that you will include. Will there be any text?

Your assessment strategies are excellent. I am impressed with the overall quality of your proposal. Good luck with the completion of your Avid Cinema project!

Mrs. Whannell

Strong
The writing demonstrates strong control of technical writing conventions (e.g., punctuation, spelling, capitalization, grammar and usage) and uses them effectively to enhance communication. Errors are so few and so minor that they do not impede readibility. The writing is characterized by:

• strong control of conventions
• effective use of punctuation that guides the reader through the text
• correct spelling, even of more difficult words
• correct capitalization; errors, if any, are minor
• correct grammar and usage that contributes to clarity and style
• little need for editing.

Strong
The primary theme of the project is well supported by the information provided in each section of the proposal form. All sections of the form are completed with detail and accuracy. The proposal is characterized by:

• Project objectives which are fully, though perhaps not individually addressed by the procedural steps.
• EALRs (for WA State schools; otherwise, optional local standards) which align with the objectives of the project.
• Procedural steps which demonstrate skillfull task analysis.
• Assessment strategies which address each of the original objectives for the project.

Strong
The proposal is clear, focused and interesting. A reader would have little trouble replicating the project from its written description. It demonstrates a clear understanding of the underlying principles of the Generation www.Y model. The successfully completed project will contribute to the enhanced use of technology in the school environment. The writing is characterized by:

• clarity, focus, and control
• clearly stated and appropriate objectives
• supporting, relevant, carefully selected details
• a thorough and balanced procedural description
• content that is well-suited to the audience and purpose (i.e., posting to the Gen www.Y Website).